Sam Beckett's A2 Media: Evaluation Question 3 - What have you learned from audience feedback?

In order to receive the audience feedback that we felt would best enable us to improve upon our first cut we felt that it only made sense to show it to our peers. By showing it to our peers we felt that we were addressing not only our intended target audience, late teens and above, but showing people who are also educated in the media enough to provide valid technical feedback as well.

Below i have included a copy of the feedback we received on the initial viewing of our rough cut:

"Passion Of A Bleeding Rose" Rough Cut Feedback

Great first draft. Tremendous support from Josh's mom and great acting mom! Here are some things

for you to consider:

Is the Binary Production ident best placed in the top left corner of the screen? Great ident though.
After ident, music starts a little abruptly.
Love the style of the titles, but I would like to see them fade or cross-fade rather than 'snap' shut. That would maintain the romantic feel of the titles and the romantic pace I think.
Good choice of font for the titles; very floristy (is that even a word?)
I didn't have time to read all of the individual titles; they go too quick. I know you are over on time, but you need to consider this (you may decide to dismiss this observation, but at least consider it).
Camera isn't steady on the clock shot.
Out of focus POV shot works well, but I think it needs to come into focus sooner. Perhaps accompany the out of focus stuff with a yawn so the meaning is clear to the viewer.
Camera moves a little between the 'getting dressed' jump shots. Watch the mirror frame! Find some real examples in real films of this effect and research it.
Good MOA as Adam leaves the bathroom.
Chopping of music and OTT breathing effect doesn't work at 1.54. Easily solved.
Who kicks the tripod just as Adam opens the bedroom door?
Also, the changes in colour between the 'sleeping mom' shot and 'door opening' shot are a little distracting (sleeping mom looks like night vision lens).
Kitchen scene a little too dark maybe. Camera struggling to focus.
Ambient sound 'kicks' in at 2.42.
Adam blocks mom's dialogue at 2.48. Perhaps an angle change was required (perhaps a close-up of mom's face when saying the dialogue).
Unrealistic footsteps at 3.03; out of time with Adam's movement.
Why is he still walking on gravel when first arriving at work? And why don't the footsteps fade as he moves away from the camera (the viewer)?
Window and computer shots are out of focus. Are they meant to be? If so, why?
Great shot at 3.48; the camera is the computer monitor!
Love the zoom into the phone picture; very moving.
Very professional crane shot of mom in the garden. Shame about the 'judder' at the end!
Watch for changes in ambient sound when you change angle (for example, at 4.18).
Dodgy lighting when looking up at mom picking the flower. You need to light from below to prevent her being in shadow. Contrasts too much with other shots in the scene.
Better lighting at 4.36 (still shot from below though). Did the sun go in or something?
Maybe we need some music or sound effect during the 'collapsing scene'. Something to represent the approaching doom of a near-death experience?
Camera knock at 4.46 when mom collapses. Not deliberate is it?
I think you need to show Adam finding mom collapsed so that the narrative makes complete sense. Then you can show him smelling and tossing the rose. (Don't know how this helps with the time issues though; you're already over time).
Sudden ambient sound change at 5.41 is really distracting.
Focussing issues at around 5.52.
Love the freeze frame at the end. Shame it's so dark though.
What about the credits?
I think your issues here are to do with lighting and sound. Is it vital that these scenes are at night? Would they not work just as well in the daytime? That would solve many of your issues. Sound issues can be sorted with overdubs (including ambient sound). Also, some focussing issues connected to lighting. One of two shots require a more steady hand or the use of a tripod.
I think a re-edit, with some rearranging of scenes/shots, would allow you to present the same story in less time. Would also give you plenty to evaluate!
Some excellent stuff here, but occasional basic errors (including the fact there are no credits, lighting issues and it is significantly over the time limit) means that you will be slaughtered on the marking. Consequently, I'm not going to suggest a mark for the film in its current form; how would that be helpful? I'm going to wait until you've turned this highly creative idea and rough cut into a masterpiece!
Seriously, you have the ingredients for a top film here, but you need to be more 'fussy' in the execution of the camerawork.